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Wedding in Denver Colorado

Welcome to the Tulsa Alternative Ceremonies

We specialize in civil, non-denominational, interfaith, and theme weddings.  We also perform renewal of vows, commitment ceremonies, hand-fasting, or any other specialized ceremony you might need.  We welcome custom requests, your wedding day should reflect who you are and we’ll do everything we can to give you the ceremony that best fits who you are.  We are Universal Life Church ordained and as such respect all religions or the desire for a non-religious ceremony.

In addition to hoping you choose Reverend Knight as your wedding minister, we hope to share with you ideas and planning assistance to make your special day easier.  This site is brand new and we will continue to add content and features to try to make a community for those trying to plan their weddings where you can find tools and information to help plan your big day.  Look around and you’ll find vows, ceremonies, traditions, and rituals to help you put together your ceremony.  We’ll also share ways you can save on your wedding, tips for the wedding party, and the hard to find tips for the groom.  Face it guys, while the bride’s been planning this day well before meeting her groom, us guys don’t think about it until after the proposal.

Now in addition to Reverend Charles Knight, we’re happy to welcome his wife Katy as our newest minister, because of this we can often accommodate same day weddings.  If you like we’ll meet with you at no charge so you can get to know us and decide for yourself if we’re the best fit for your ceremony.  Contact us today through the contact form or call us direct at (918) 409-0339 so see how we can best help you with your big day.

A Basic Civil Ceremony W/ Ring Exchange

Featured

Civil Ceremony Vows

 

This is our most common ceremony for a simple wedding:

Who gives this woman?

Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that – through love and patience’ through dedication and perseverance; Through tenderness and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate you differences, and by learning to make the important things mater, and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as life mates and partners.

Groom & Bride repeat:

“I, Groom, choose you, Bride, to be my wife, my friend, my love. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will cherish you and respect you, comfort you and encourage you, and together we shall live, freed and bound by our love.”

“I, Bride, choose you, Groom, to be my husband, my friend, my love, the mother/father of our children. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will cherish you and respect you, comfort you and encourage you, and together we shall live, freed and bound by our love.”

May I please have your rings?

The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond, which unites two loyal hearts in endless love. It is a seal of the vows Groom and Bride have made to one another. Bless these rings that those who give them and those who wear them, may abide in peace and love, May they live together in unity, love, and happiness for the rest of their lives.

Groom & Bride repeat:

(Groom / Bride) “This ring I give you in token of my devotion and love, and with my heart I pledge to you all that I am. With this ring I marry you and join my life to yours.”

Because Groom and Bride have desired each other in marriage, and have witnessed this before our gathering, affirming their acceptance of the responsibilities of such a union, and have pledged their love and faith to each other, sealing their vows in the giving and receiving of rings, I do proclaim that they are husband and wife in the sight of God and Man. Let all people here and everywhere recognize and respect this holy union, now and forever. Congratulations Groom, you may now kiss your bride.  KISS

With Honor I proudly announce for the first time Mr. & Mrs. _______________

There goes the Judge

Tulsa County judges no longer performing courthouse weddings

 

Although Oklahoma does not have the justice of the peace position to perform simple weddings, Tulsa Judges still performed weddings.  We had heard the wait time was often over a month to see a judge and now according to a recent Tulsa World article as of February 1st, 2016 Tulsa Judges are no longer performing marriages.  While some blame the lift on same sex marriage bans the official reason is that the case load for Tulsa Judges has simple become too great to be able to schedule weddings.  The article states Judges may still perform weddings by personal request however the courthouse will no longer schedule these and unless you personally know the judge you’ll be needing find someone to officiate your wedding.  For those that just want to get everything done in one stop we often meet couples right at the courthouse for their weddings and then it’s a quick trip back to the county clerk to get everything recorded.

See the full Tulsa world article Here: Tulsa County judges no longer performing courthouse weddings

Oklahoma Marriage Equality

 Oklahoma Marriage Equality

 Oklahoma Marriage Equality at Last

Congratulations to all those in Oklahoma who have waited so long for Oklahoma marriage equality.  In honor of this historic occasion and anticipating the day all 50 states recognize these marriages,all weddings we perform inside the city of Tulsa from now until Friday October 10th are only $50.  As a reminder to any same sex couple that we have performed ceremonies for, let us know when you get your marriage license so we can sign off and finish the job.

How to get married in Oklahoma

How to get married in Oklahoma

Wedding season is upon us and we get a lot of calls asking how to get married in Oklahoma.  Most people aren’t experts at the process, this isn’t a process you do often.  I’ll try to give you all the information you’ll need to make things easier.

First the rules. In Oklahoma anyone over 18 can get married without a waiting period with the exception of those who have divorced.  In Oklahoma unless you decide to re-marry the person you divorced you have to wait 6 months to marry.

16-17 of age can marry with parental consent. There is a 72 hour waiting period

You must present proof of age when getting your marriage license.  This can be a driver’s license, passport, birth certificate, or other form of official ID

Oklahoma does not require a blood test or residency.

As of this writing Oklahoma does not issue licenses for same sex couples.

Marriage licenses are issued by the County Clerk, here in Tulsa the County Clerks office is on the second floor of the Tulsa County Court House 500 W Denver

The fee for a Marriage license is $50, you can save $45 by attending pre-marital counseling.  There are a lot of options for counseling, some religion based, some are offered through counselors, the state even sponsors a communications based training.  Soon we how to offer the state sponsored training, watch our website for more information.

Once you have the license you have 10 days to get it to whoever is doing the ceremony, the license should be returned within 5 days of the ceremony, and expires 30 days after it was issued.

Oklahoma does not have a Justice of the Peace.  Marriages can be performed either by judges (call ahead to find out the availability) and by persons ordained or authorized to perform weddings by the church in which they belong. Additionally some atheist organizations have put in place steps to be recognized as wedding officiants in Oklahoma.

For the ceremony two adult competent witnesses must be present and sign the marriage license.

After the marriage the license can either be mailed or returned in person to the County Clerk to be recorded.  If it’s mailed you will receive the license back in the mail, in person they can generally record it and hand it back right.

I hope this helps you on your journey.

For more visit the Tulsa County Website 

Save Money on your Wedding License and Help your Marriage

You can save money on your wedding license ($45 to be exact) and increase the odds of a healthy marriage through various pre-marital counseling options. Weddings cost money and everything you do to save on the wedding can go towards the honeymoon and your new life together! Recently reverends Charles and Katy Knight became certified in training Prep 7.0.  Prep stands for Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program.  This is a research based skills training to help you and your loved one learn how to communicate, how to fight, and how to forgive.  These skills when used correctly and consistently will help you and your spouse. For those who would prefer an alternative to  faith based or counseling based options Prep is an excellent option.  Most of the time these workshops are free of charge, the trainers do these as a service and the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative funds the training materials free. You may ask why would this be free and save me $45 on my wedding license.  This is a fair question, for officiants like us we want to meet you and let you get to know us in hopes you will use our services for your wedding.  This is an excellent opportunity to find if we’re a good fit for your wedding, and if not that’s fine, one size does not and should not fit all.  For the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative they have grants to fund the materials for these workshops in an attempt to curb Oklahoma’s divorce rate which is amongst the highest in the US and some reports have it at the absolute top. All this will cost you is time, we at Tulsa Alternative Ceremonies believe this program is an excellent tool and highly encourage couples to attend a workshop whether it’s your first marriage or if you want to avoid the failures of a previous marriage. As soon as we can secure a location to hold workshops we at Tulsa Alternative Ceremonies will be offering these workshops free of charge, until that time there is an upcoming free workshop on February 9th, 2013.  You can learn more about the workshop either by going to our calendar or go directly to the Forever For Real website Charles and Katy will be volunteers helping at this event so be sure to say hello while you are at the event.

Download (PDF, 2.93MB)

Wedding-Budget-Piggybank

Oklahoma’s Smallest Wedding Chapel

Last night I did a wedding in Oklahoma’s smallest wedding chapel.  Right to the point I’m talking about the Be-Mar Chapel in Bixby, OK.  They don’t seem to have a website but here’s their phone number 918-366-4393.

This place was the perfect location for those of you who are on a budget and just have a few guests.  Don’t plan on having too many people though.  The chapel is truly small, seating is limited to fourteen and we’re talking a small fourteen, if you’re family is like mine it’s going to be one to a seat.  An additional six can stand in the center isle but if you have anyone claustrophobic they probably won’t be able to handle this place.  In addition there is a very nice garden outside of the chapel that make a beautiful setting.

All that being said we have people call us all the time that need a small location they can have a wedding in without paying a fortune.  I love the big chapels and there are some beautiful Chapels in Oklahoma but not everyone can afford them or feel it’s worth the expense

Here’s some information from the chapel brochure:

“Bixby has been known for years as the garden spot of Oklahoma now has a new attraction.  It is the home of the smallest Chapel and largest Water Wheel in Oklahoma.  Open seven days a week at no charge to visitors.  Be-Mar Chapel was built by Red Stevenson to honor his wife Betty Margaret on their fiftieth anniversary Be-Mar is a hyphenation of her name.  This beautiful Mini-Chapel was not built as a wedding chapel but so many have asked to be married in Be-Mar Chapel, that it is now available for weddings.  Red and Betty Margaret would like to leave Be-Mar Chapel to the community and to fund it’s perpetual care, there is a charge of $100 for weddings with you providing a minister.”

Speaking with red he did mention he does not charge those in the service for use of the Chapel.

I like this place so much although we normally charge a distance charge to travel to Bixby let us know you’re having your wedding at the Be-Mar and we’ll wave the distance fee.

About Reverend Knight

Reverend C.Knight

Hello, I am Reverend Knight

I became ordained in 2001 expressly for the purpose of serving as a wedding officiant for friends seeking alternatives to traditional church weddings.  In 2009 I began planning my own wedding and realized two things quickly, first wedding are expensive, second officiants aren’t as common as I’d expected.  We’ve also learned that Oklahoma does not have Justice of the Peace, and it can be difficult to find a judge free to sign off on your wedding license.  Because of this we began Tulsa Alternative ceremonies for those who need an officiant for their special day.  We hope you choose Reverend Knight for your wedding day, even if I’m not the minister for your wedding I hope I can help here with advice and suggestions for your big day.

In addition to Tulsa Alternative ceremonies I run Mr. Crispy Entertainment a catch all for my solo performing, DJing, and my troupe show The Crispy Family Carnival.  I have entertained in one form or the other for the past 15 years and love making people smile whether through entertaining, performing wedding ceremonies, or just one on one conversation.

Reverend Knight is a Tulsa native, he’s a graduate of Nathan Hale high school, recieved his Associates Degree in Business from Tulsa Community College in 2012.  He is currently pursuing Bachelor degrees in both Marketing and Entrepreneurship which he expects to complete in the fall of 2012.  Reverend Knight left Tulsa in 1998 for Denver for a job promotion and returned home in 2006. He is very excited by all the growth in Tulsa during the last decade and hopes to be a part of it’s growth.  As Reverend Knight nears completion of his degrees expect to see this site grow while he utilizes what he learns to better serve couples on their way to the alter.

Student & Military Discount

Discount, it’s the one thing that everyone looks for at this time, but do you ask?  There are a lot of people that offer discounts but they aren’t always advertised, you just have to ask for them.  And we are no different.

Student Discount- We offer a student discount of 20% to all students. All you have to do is ask us for it and show us your student ID from your school.

Military Discount – We offer a Military discount of 20% to all Military personal. All you have to do is ask for it and show us your military ID or if you show up to your wedding in uniform we offer this discount without you even having to ask for it.

Wedding Upgrade – We have a lot of people that are getting married in small weddings and then planning a bigger one for a later date.  If you have us do your small wedding we offer you $75.00 discount off of your big wedding when you have it, all you have to do is show us your Marriage License with our signature.

Free Consultation – We offer a free consultation; the minister is one of the most important parts of the wedding. You want someone that will fit with you and what you want.  If we meet with you and you like us we can start planning your ceremony if you don’t like us, which I don’t think you would, but no harm you don’t have to go with us.

This is just what we do, there are a lot of discounts out there especially for students and our military, you may find you can save on a lot of your wedding needs, all you have to do is look for them.  But be careful not all discounts are good discounts, be watchful and educated when the word wedding is included often the price is inflated from its true worth.  Don’t be afraid to ask for a discount, sure they may say no, but they just might say YES!!!

Intro to Bridal Showers

Bridal showers can be one of the most stressful events for the bride and one that raises the most questions. Who gives the shower? Can you have more than one shower? Do you have it male and female or just female? To have or not to have children? Does the groom come? All of these are good questions but don’t stress, the answer to all of these is it’s up to the Bride and Groom.

If your best friends and bridesmaids want to throw you a shower, that’s great, but if it’s his Great-Aunt Sue that throw’s the bridal shower for all of her nieces and wants to give you one too, that’s also great.  You can have two. You can invite your friends to one and the family to the other. It really just depends on what you the bride want.

When Reverend Knight and I got married I had two. I grew up and most of my family still lives 2 hours from where we live now. So my best friend and Maid of Honor threw me a shower back home, and then another bridesmaid threw one where we live now. Both were great, but different, and very much appreciated. One thing to remember when having multiple showers is that you don’t have to invite everyone to all of them. The one back home was mostly my family and friends that I have had forever but we also invited all of the bridesmaids including the ones from down here, also the women in the groom’s immediate family. And then the one here all of the bridesmaids, and the women in my immediate family were invited. I also called the groom about the time we started eating cake and opening gifts to give him time to show up before everyone left. That way he could say thank you to everyone and to help load up all the gifts.

Like I said it is all up to you, just remember your marring your best friend and love of your life, take it all in stride and don’t stress about it.

The Bachelor Party

The first thing the Best Man normally thinks about is the bachelor party.  The bachelor party goes back to ancient Sparta when soldiers would celebrate and feast with the groom and raise money so he could continue to go out and drink with them after his new wife took control of the finances.

Of course there’s the traditional booze and women party.  Grab a roll of ones, or if you really want to confuse them and stand out go to the bank and get a bunch of two dollar bills.  Often you can get the dancers to come to the party if you feel like spending the extra.

However the reality is that these parties can get old quick.  Believe it or not unless you’ve lived a pretty sheltered life chances are paying women to be teases will get boring fast.

One of the biggest pitfalls of the bachelor party is thinking you just need to grab a little cash, hit the steakhouse and let the night unfold.  Chances are you’ll fall back on hitting the strip club until you’re all too board or drunk and one by one the men will slip away to the comfort of home.

Plan ahead

Plan around three to five activities for the night, this will let people drop out or drop in throughout the evening.  The Best man makes the reservations, buys the tickets, rents the limo, etc. for the party.  As the best man you should have a good idea of what the groom will enjoy.  You’ll need to let the gang know what the plan is and how much you need everyone to pitch in on the night.  Pad your estimate a little so you don’t get stuck paying more than your share and remember to collect before the party, not after.

Who to invite?

The groom should decide who to invite, remember the more people the more difficult it’s going to be to coordinate the party, try to keep it between eight and twenty people if possible, less and it’s just a gathering, more and you’re asking for a headache.  Only invite the grooms family members if the groom requests it.  you don’t want to offend the father of the bride but if they’re there it means witnesses and if a long night of drinking and debauchery is planned it will get back to the bride sooner or later.  Similarly, inviting female friends to the party takes away from the traditional bachelor party but again is up to the groom.

When to invite people?

Shoot to invite everyone around four weeks out from the party.  If you invite people too soon they’ll forget by the time the date arrives, wait too long and people will have trouble clearing their schedule.

What the best man should bring:

  1. List of all attendees
  2. attendees’ phone numbers
  3. Taxi company phone numbers
  4. Cell phone
  5. Bottle opener
  6. Mints
  7. Extra cash (for emergencies, gratuities, etc.)
  8. Credit cards (for hotel tooms, bar tabs, bigger emergencies)
  9. The Evenings itinerary
  10. Aspirin

Hope this get’s you started, I’ll post more specific ideas soon so come back often.

Handfasting Vows

The couple have chosen to build upon the ancient tradition of handfasting.  To tie the knot, did not start out as an abstract term.  It is a phrase that grew from the act of unions being made by the joining of hands over a village anvil, in the fields, or a group of trees prior to marriage being sanctified in the church.  The knot that binds the hands together symbolizes the bonding of two hearts as on.

Woven into this cord are the hopes and wishes of all friends and family as well as the Bride and Grooms’s own for their new life together.  With the fashioning of this knot I will tie all the desires, dreams, love and happiness wished here.  I ask now that you join hands and look into one another’s eyes.

Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?

Will you both look for the brightness in life and positivity in one another?

Will you share the burden of each other so your spirits may grow?

Will you dream together, to create new realities and hopes?

Will you endeavor to maintain the purity and sacredness of this union?

The true knots of this binding are not formed by the cord, but by the vows you have spoken.  Either of you may drop the cord, as you hold in your hands, the making or breaking of this marriage.  These are the hands that will love and cherish you through the years, that will wipe tears of sorrow and of joy from your eyes.  These hands will comfort you in illness and hold you tight through difficult times.  May this knot remain tied as long as love shall last.

Here’s a good link with information on the actual tying of the cord:

http://revdebi.com/book-your-wedding-with-revdebi/ceremonies/handfasting/how-to-tie-a-handfasting-cord/